| This is a collection of songs written after finally departing from the frozen wasteland that is the People's Democratic Republic of Wisconsin. Hopefully the joy of returning to a warm-weather climate south of the Mason-Dixon line is apparent in some of the recordings. Low-Fi MP3 files are available for sampling .. if you like them, please support homegrown music and buy them from one of my online stores .... :-) |
| ADD |
This song is dedicated to the "hug'em & drug'em" generation: those parents who prove beyond a doubt that ADD really stands for "Acute Discipline Disorder". |
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| Smilin' Bob |
During the Super Bowl several years ago Janet Jackson had a "wardrobe malfunction" -- and America was traumatized by the sight of a briefly uncovered boobie. Then about a dozen Viagra and Cialis commercials followed. Which would you rather explain to your child? |
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| Sheep |
H.L. Mencken once noted that "Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses." Since there were too many syllables in "jackasses", I substituted the word "Sheep". The sentiment remains the same, however. |
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| Diet |
A while ago, the wife tells me that I should try this wonderful diet she's found. You know the type: no food, no fun, no joy. During the two days I toughed it out, I wrote this song. |
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| Bein' A Hound |
A few years ago a bloodhound puppy joined our home. This is her song. Every word of it is also true. |
Low-Fi MP3 |
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| I'll Never See Snow Again |
A song of personal liberation. It's been over a decade since I was close to a snowflake, and I plan to keep it that way. |
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| Minivan Momma |
You know the type: picture a 300+ lb. woman, driving a mini-van full of screaming kids, with a Big Gulp lodged between her giant, flabby breasts (which are propped up on the steering wheel), and shoving fries into her face while talking on the phone. In the process of doing all of this, she cuts you off and they acts like it's your fault. |
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| Car Killers |
Another true story. While cruising along at about 70 a rather large deer flew out of the woods at full speed and redesigned my front end. The car lived, but it took a lot of time and effort to fix, and definitely reaffirmed my commitment to eating meat. |
Low-Fi MP3 |
Lyrics |
| Football Blues |
I used to take sports WAAAAY too seriously. One evening, I was turning the air blue while watching my favorite team lose 37-6 on national TV, when it suddenly struck me that I was really getting worked up over nothing. This song was my way of working through the discovery. |
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| Fritz |
A song about a true giant among bar flies. Sterotypes don't come out of thin air, and this guy was the poster child for the professional, bar-game playing, staggering, red-nosed drunk. |
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| Technicolor Yawn |
A friend of mine was telling me about exactly how drunk he was after some undergraduate gathering in his youth. I just took everything he claimed to have experienced and put it to music. |
Low-Fi MP3 |
Lyrics |
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